Yesterday, I had the opportunity to talk to someone about some things that have been said about me in the past few years and the role that this person took in those things. They have been someone that, it seemed, held something against me, and chose to undermine me whenever they could throughout my career with the Forest Service.
They were rumored to have been the driving force behind the "verbal rape" that I received in 2010, and also to rally some fellow employees up to file a "formal complaint" against me soon after that. They seemed to single me out a lot when I worked under them and when I got upset at their "pets" that they took under wing. Most recently, it came to my attention that they "allegedly" went to my supervisor last year before I ever started work and talked smack about me and put a sour taste in that managers mouth for me.
Any-who... this is a person whom I have known to lie and embellish about the smallest of things, up to some pretty serious things just to make himself look better. I have seen him "talk his way out" of a few sticky situations and have witnessed him in action personally weaving a story that he thought I and others were actually believing. I never called him on much of these things, for his position was such that he could have thrown even more of a monkey wrench into my career than he already had. It was easier for me to keep my mouth shut for as long as I worked for the government and hope that some day he might come clean and make things right.
Well... that never happened and I happened to be in his office yesterday. Due to the fact that some of the fear that I had is now gone with my having started a new job, I decided to ask him about some of the different rumors and stories that had been told to me down through the past 4 years or so.
As I asked him about some of the different situations, I could see him get visually uncomfortable. I am not sure if it was because he was feeling guilty or if my bluntness just made him uncomfortable. Either way, I could tell that it was not a very fun discussion for him to be having. Naturally, he denied everything, and even put some spin on parts of it to make it seem like he was not the diplomatic liar that he was made to be and that it was actually "others" that were guilty of some of the things I was discussing with him.
As I think about it and the track record that I have seen first hand with his embellishment and lack of integrity, I have to ask myself how innocent and "squeaky clean" he really is. I really want to believe him, yet as a wise man said, you know the quality of a tree by their fruit. Why would someone produce questionable fruit consistently then all of a sudden be able to state that the fruit that they have produced is so good and healthy. I just don't know what to believe. One of the sources of info I received were, in fact a liar and embellish-er too, so I have taken that into consideration.
The Lord has laid it upon my heart to release the whole situation and pardon the person, no matter if they are lying or not. I am pretty sure that the more I think and dwell upon this, the more it will eat away at me.... so.... once I get this down, I will release it in Jesus name.
Why record all this in the first place? I do enjoy looking back and seeing how things played out after the fact. There are things recorded over a year ago that seemed so huge at the time that the Lord has really moved in and have gotten so much better.
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