Happy or Right

It is often times so hard to practice what you preach.  I talk to and counsel people all the time on conflic management and usually wind up saying the words, "do you wanna be happy, or do you wanna be right"?  Most times, both are really not a possibility, so you have to choose sometime during the dispute, "happy or right"?  I am struggling with this right now, for I know that I am right, fee that things are unfair  and that the other person, if put in my shoes would cause a HUGE sting, cry "foul" and this would escalate in to something much more.... OR.... I would cease to do what is causing the conflict and choose once again, to be happy.

I am also confused about the term, "you make me feel guilty".  Usually, when I feel guilty, it is when I am doing something wrong, or doing something, on some level, that I know in my heart to be "not quite right".  The only way someone can "make you feel guilty", is if you care enough about that person that you care what they think about what you are doing.  If you feel that strongly toward them, that what you are doing makes you feel guilty, then stop doing what you are doing.  If you choose to do it anyway, then own up to it and know that you are being selfish and don't push the fault on the other person for "making you feel guilty".  Your choice, your guilt, I don't want it, you can keep it for yourself, thank you.

I feel like I am getting worn down sometimes and just want to be the total jerk that I use to be, but that solves nothing and I am slowly becoming someone else.... someone a whole lot less interesting than I use to be.... someone getting more and more use to being the whipping dog and have everything be my fault.  I feel guilty for other peoples flaws... I felt guilty as I was sleeping on the couch and Lis was hungry and too lazy to get up and fix herself something, so I did it.... why... 'cause that is the whipping boy I am these days and I felt as if it would be my fault if she did not eat and felt bad later in the day..... pretty warped, yet such is parts of my life.

Happy or right, Happy or right?  I guess I choose happy, for to be right with someone who is never wrong and has the potential to make your life no so fun if they wish, is just not an option.

Who am I?  I use to be Moukie.... now I am just the one who is here to make sure someone gets the ideal spouse (defined by them), and is made to feel small when someone else's need are not being met.  So... is the "Happy" just an act?  I am I really choosing conflict or no conflict, rather than right or happy?  I sure don't feel very happy.

Free Flow 12-19-11

Where mercy is given, mercy is received.  If your actions are based on the actions of others, you will never be fulfilled   That is NOT mercy.  Mercy is not giving someone what they really do deserve (punishment, the negatives of a bad decision, judgement).  To giver mercy is to come along side them when everyone else is condemning them and offer them a hand out of the situation free of condemnation and advise.  Melissa and I are struggling with this as I type.  There are those that need our help, yet they have really made some bad choices and don't "deserve" to be bailed out yet again.  The hard part is this.... I KNOW the Lord is leading to help them and be there for them.  We as humans can say "If they don't go through this, they will never learn and will always be expecting for others to bail them out".  The Lord looks at it and says "Do unto others as you would have them do to you".  To this, we can respond, "Yeah, well I would never screw my life up that bad and be that sad". And Jesus would reply "Pride goes before a fall".  "But Lord", we might say, "I am not being prideful, just stating a fact".  "Ok", the Lord may say, "Let's see how THAT works out for ya".  At this point, you know that the heavenly Father is disappointed, yet also know that He will not FORCE you to do anything.  This is where we are.  We know there is a need, we know the Lord has asked us to help, we have been burned and used before, yet will we obey, and if we do obey, will it be whole heartily, or only because we know we should.  I want to have the heart to do what I know we should do.